heading towards the end and into the light

Sitting at my desk. Months it's been... finally cleared a path through the stored toys and the stashed materials. Behind me is chaos. I daydream of building shelves in the 'workshop' but don't do it. What care I for material goods?  Why make anything? And yet one might have a moment whilst viewing - even the viewing of the making, glass for example, being made in a cave by torchlight, creating a fleeting  performative moment.

But being a hoarder (or sorts) has its uses... How might the caves have played out if i hadn't had a van and a whole scrap-store of my own?

The caves is over and work experience is done. And still i look for more. Always happy to find more work experience, never looking for paid work. Learning. always learning never applying. Soon I go to Cardiff to meet No Fit State. Lighting internship. Fleeting, ephemeral. Both the internship and the output. moments in time.

To be welcomed on the one hand and yet pushed out with the other. Is an academic welcome? No one likes to be examined - to be watched and admired yes, but to have someone 'read' ones performance, drawing parallels between life, society, politics... this unpicking is another thing entirely.

'Other'. If being 'other' is your bread and butter then there is (is there?) an automatic conflict between requesting legitimacy and acknowledgment and remaining intangible. It seems that (the role of the academic) we seek to understand, and through understanding comes familiarity - perhaps then, with familiarity comes a lessening of respect/wonder/awe or whatever makes it special and thus financially possible. But it is changing. The focus is not so much on 'other' as exotic, distant, now the interesting thing perhaps is a narcissistic, inward looking, examination on what might be possible for this body, in this space, an acknowledgement that with focus we are all capable of brilliant things.  Perhaps this fits with permeability, with the need to experience, not simply view.

OOBE - Out Of Body Experience

permeated is an important word

i ran for 'hounded'. I chased people wearing foxes tails through the city streets.

a new use of space, a new way of interacting with the city. A reclamation, of ourselves, of our entertainment, of our bodies, of our cities. For the children that never grew up, we need a playground, the city is our playground. For the kids who played computer games inside when they were kids, we need to get out, the streets are our woods.

A reaction to spoonfed culture, a rejection of consumption of culture. A need to be involved, to heighten our senses, use our bodies, make choices, feel alive, a little danger, make decisions. A real life computer game.

experience. we are all artists. we have leisure time. we have humour.

"there was a sense that Liverpool was being permeated in a fundamental an subtle way" Total Theatre magazine (p.9 vol 23 winter 2011/12) although speaking about a different event in a different city, there is an overall sense of 'getting out of the gallery/venue/pub/theatre'. A need for creative cultures to touch individuals, for individuals to be touched, to make, to share, to participate. Now that we all have free time, that we all have internet access, we are becoming equal and we want equal influence in our real-time worlds as we do online. In the way that a home-made video might 'go viral' on the internet, in the physical world we also want to permeate, to participate, to directly experience and influence.

There is a fundemental shift - we are beyond post-modern, we have become permeable.

Oktay Novruzov Slack wire

had to send images to represent my work.

It's tricky working with live events and film but being asked to submit photos. I chose to ignore any that were more 'showreel' as they might detract somehow in this instance. These are the four I chose.

let's do it in French!

There is already literature out there charting the return of circus and some at least anecdotal information on the arrival of the term Cirque and how it signifies contemporary circus.

But is there info on how circus relates to post-modernism and how its inclusion is part of a wider phenomenon? Low-brow it is... intertextual it is... When traditional circus is presented, it's still referencing itself. When Cirque is presented, it's mixing 'low' (or popular, or non-elitist) and presenting it as 'high'. Like porn in galleries, post-modernism consumes and regurgitates another art form. (does this cheapen it? do i care?)

By becoming Cirque, is it popularising and making circus more accessible to a contemporary audiences or is it trapping it and seeking to exclusivise an art form and bring it into the deliberately elitist world normally comprised of ballet, opera and exclusive galleries. Things you need 'cultural capital' to access.

How did circus come to be here and where is the hungry machine of superiority going next?

retro camera slack